Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Super New Year, Super New You!

Super New Year
Super New You
 Happy New Year!
This time of year many choose to make resolutions to change something about themselves or their lives that they are not satisfied with. A new yeara fresh new startperfect timing right? Yet, think about how many of your resolutions you remember following through with in the past.

Every hero has their weaknesses.  For those of us in the school system- or  who work with children and teens- it may be a negative mindset, impatience, rigidness, unrealistic expectations, personal problems, or even compassion fatigue.  We as educators have the responsibility of serving as models on how our students can become the best version of themselves.  Take a moment to think about how each of these weaknesses can stand in the way of you being the best version of YOU personally and professionally.

Some super hero qualifications are (but are not limited to):                                                 
Strength-avoid power struggles. Instead show strength by handling negative situations like a Hero! In the face of danger what would Wonder Woman do? Back down? Complain? Play the Victim? Blame others? She would rise to the occasion and demonstrate her ability to rise above whatever obstacle is placed before her.

X-Ray Vision- See through your enemy.  In the academic setting, we have 2 major enemies: Behaviors and Cognitive Capabilities.  Do your best to see past the student, past their behavior, and discover what lies beneath.  Is it frustration? Boredom? Trauma? Family/Home Life? Is it a legitimate inability to learn in a particular way or setting? Now, problem solve to determine a solution.  If you cannot do so alone, consult with your team. That is why we are here!

Secret Elixir- Refrain from using your poison; otherwise known as negative thoughts, beliefs, language, and messages. Student will become who you expect them to become.  Your secret elixir is your own special concoction of positive messages, energy, and experiences you can feed to your students.

Confidence- If you are not confident in your ability to educate effectively, how can your learners feel confident in their own ability to learn and become successful?  The two go hand in hand. Having confidence means having the ability to handle adversity with poise. 

Empathy- Understanding. Responsiveness. The ability to meet students, clients, co-workers, friends and family where they are at as well as being able to understand that we all have our “stuff” and that “stuff” affects each of us in various ways.  It is up to us as the professionals to identify ways in which we can bring out the best in those we serve.

Generosity- Watching others get into the holiday spirit -giving and being selfless- reminds me of when the Grinch’s Heart grew “3 sizes that day.” In real life- your heart growing 3 sizes is probably something to consult your doctor about but your capacity for doing things for others is endless. Many people seem to think their legacy lives on through the things they have accomplished, achieved, gained, etc. I beg to differ. Your legacy lives on through the lives of those you have come in contact with and influenced in some way. Do you want to leave a legacy of students and coworkers who have gone on to be successful because you were able to inspire them in some way? Being generous does not necessarily mean to give material things. Your form of generosity can simply mean giving it your all when it comes to educating.  Challenge yourself to GIVE a little more encouragement, a little more laughter, a little more inspiration, and a little more compassion.

Creativity- What new ways can you discover to do what you do best? Do a little research. Ask others.  Or even ask your students what would make their academic experience more exciting, fun, interesting or at the very leastbearable!

Light-Heartedness- Learn to laugh. Learn to let go.  Learn to look at the bigger picture. How serious was it really?

Humbleness- Having insight to admit when you do not know something or that you are wrong as well as having the ability to give credit where credit is due, will do a lot for your mental stability. Pride creates a false sense of responsibility to prove yourself and a sense of self-worth that is dependent upon your ability to be the best or to avoid failure. Free yourself of that burden and learn to work as a member of a team whose players all have various skills, strengths, and areas of growth to attribute to the common goal; THE STUDENTS.

Dedication- Above all, dedication to your craft and profession will mean you will do everything in your power to be the best version of you who helps create the best version of them!
So
What’s your Super Power?

xoxo
Ayla V. Expose

Friday, August 19, 2016

LOUISIANA FLOOD DISASTER- A NOTE TO PARENTS AND PROFESSIONALS



A Note to Parents:
2016 has been filled with drama and trauma.  Events such as violence, loss of family and friends, as well as the recent natural disasters.  Please use this as a simple reference to take action to protect your child’s mental well-being.  Whether or not your child was directly affected by the flood they may be indirectly affected.  They are aware that it happened.  They may be concerned or worried about family, friends, their schools, and their teachers.  They may also be concerned that it could happen again.
If you notice such symptoms as: worry, anxiety; inability to cope with problems and activities; changes in sleeping and eating habits; aggression; drop in school performance…you may wish to contact your PCP, religious supports, or mental health professional.  The sooner their needs get addressed the better.
ALWAYS,
AYLA

www.missaylahelps.org

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Children’s Anxiety Checklist

Children’s Anxiety Checklist
                                      Use The following check list to observe your child. This list should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health. This only a guide/reference. Please seek professional help if you have concerns.
o Constant worry about things that might happen
(What if I fall down again, what if my sister gets really sick again and has to go to the hospital?)
o Anger more often than usual
(He looked at me!! I hate him! Why is he looking at me?!)
o Perfectionism
(balling up a piece of paper because of a simple fixable mistake to redo it.  Upset when something is not done the way they want or expected.)
 o Poor memory and concentration
(forgetting to do a task you told them to do not that long ago, or asking you what you told the child to do more than once, completing a task incorrectly after being provided specific/simple instructions.)
o Aggression (verbal and physical)
(destructive on purpose, hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, threats, etc)
o Pessimistic or negative thinking often
(Mommy might get hurt, my teacher is going to give me an F, What if a tornado comes??)
o Restlessness, irritability, tantrums
(Unable to get a good night’s sleep, upset often over things that may seem silly to you)
o Opposition and defiance
(Refusing to do what they are told, testing boundaries, responding “NO!” often)
o Crying
(again… upset often over things that may seem silly to you)

WWW.MISSAYLAHELPS.ORG


o Avoidance
(He or she will not go to place, specifically public places or places they have never been to. Scared of new situations) (ex: Excited about a friend’s party until the time comes to go to the party, then refusing to go.)
o Sleep patterns/routine changes
(difficulty falling asleep, trouble sleeping the entire night, nightmares, refusing to go to bed etc)
o Clinginess or fear of separation
(crying, screaming or throwing a tantrum when you attempt to leave, even if only for a moment)
o Procrastination
(“I’ll do it later” “I’ll do it in a minute” “Can I do that tomorrow.”)
o Physical complaints
(stomachaches, feeling tired, headaches, fatigue, sore throat, tightness or tension)
 o Withdrawal from activities and family interactions
(family outings or get-togethers appear to cause uneasiness or stress for the child.)
o Eating patterns/habits have changed
(Hoarding food in room or secret places, won’t eat in front of others, refusing to eat certain types of foods.)
o Over-exaggerating
(I always get into trouble because of other people, I am always last)
o Rigidity and inflexibility, self-criticism, guilty thoughts, etc.
(I can’t do that. No, I didn’t try it but I know I can’t.)


If you have checked 5 or more of these symptoms it may be time for you to seek professional guidance from your child’s primary care doctor for how to proceed with diagnosis and/or treatment.






 
Your child’s pediatrician may refer you to a specialist for further assessment/evaluation



                                           Miss Ayla Helps Original

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Positivity board

This will serve as a sample for a presentation I am doing for the National Youth Transition Database Reunion Conference I will be speaking at this week.  I will be presenting on being the best woman you can be.

Although I am still a work in progress I do believe that part of being the best version of you includes recognizing your flaws, accepting and embracing then, choosing to focus on your strengths and positive aspects of life.

Therefore I will have participants create positivity or vision boards. They will have the option of creating a poster focusing on positivity or a vision board focusing on goals and aspirations. (My vision board coming soon...that will take a bit more work on my end.)

So enjoy this entry and feel free to Be Positive!!

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Dream Catcher


I  found this cool activity somewhere on Pinterest.  I plan to post a finished product within the next 2 weeks.  and will provide a PDF template that can be purchased on my TEACHERS PAY TEACHERS account. 

Basically you will have the participant write down negative thoughts and beliefs in the large circle.  Next he or she will write positive thoughts and beliefs on the outside of the dream catcher.  

You can enocourage creativity by providing craft feathers and beads for the hanging materials on the page.  yarn can be used to represent the rope or string used in an actual dream catcher.  If you are unable to get feathers, yarn, and beads, they can be drawn with different color markers.  

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: How to effectively encourage positive behaviors


POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

Learning how to provide positive reinforcement for your child can help to create a more positive and ideal BEHAVIORS. Teaching your children that there are consequences for every action teaches them how to think and problem solve for themselves when they are out in the world.
****************************************************************

·         POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT- Simply means encouraging good behaviors

·         CONSEQUENCES- are the result of a behavior. (whether it was a positive or negative behavior)

·         BEHAVIORS- a person’s actions.  (What he or she does or says)

Think about these POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES (or incentives):
Work = Paycheck    
Sleep = Energy   
Medicine = Feeling Better  
Asking for Help = Receiving Help

Examples of POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT can be:


  • High 5
  • Encouragement
  • Praise
  • Hug
  • Thumbs Up
  • Clapping
  • Cheering
  • Privileges
  • Rewards

(Privileges may include extra TV or electronics time, later bedtime, choosing what to eat for dinner, etc.)



*POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT may be the most effective
when provided immediately after a desired BEHAVIOR. *


Examples of BEHAVIORS to Reinforce Positively:

Using manners
Playing Quietly
Asking Permission
Chores
Playing nicely with others
Helping Others
Making an Effort or Trying
Following Directions Immediately



POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT can also be used when a child has not done something correctly. Giving the child praise for what they have done right is more encouraging than putting them down for “failure.”

Example: “I am proud of you for asking permission to eat candy.  Next time can you wait for mommy to finish speaking?”

Example: “I noticed that you picked up some of your toys in your room. I am proud of you for doing your chores.  I see another toy on the floor. Can we put that one with the others?


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Sense of Peace: 5 Senses Relaxation Activity

I will post a finished product on here before June 1st.
This activity can be used to discuss how to engage the senses when using relaxation techniques.

5 SENSES
SIGHT    TOUCH    SMELL    TASTE   SOUND 


Body Cues: ANGER

Use this activity to determine Body Cues in the child.  
Once the child has identified how their body feels when they are experiencing anger they can then begin to learn to start using their coping skills before it is too late.  

I typically allow my clients to list everything they can think of first. I sometimes then will present video clips of others being angry to help them determine what they may feel inside, and if the client is still unable to come up with body cues I provide examples and ask if they have felt that particular sensation before.

HAVE A HAPPY DAY
AYLA

Square Breathing

This Coping activity is quite simple.  
The child follows along outside edges of the square with their finger; Forcing them to focus on the length of their breaths.  They count to 4 per each side. 

On this particular handout I placed markers for where their finger should be per each count.

This technique can be used anywhere anytime.  When the child is experiencing an unpleasant emotion he or she can do this on their desk, leg, on the floor with their feet, etc. 

PEACEFUL BREATHING
AYLA

Color Time Schedule

(I created this activity to post here on a sheet of paper because I am cheap and refused to buy a clock that I cannot tell time on anyway.  However this activity can be done on a cheap clock that is placed in the child's room.)

MATERIALS NEEDED:
CHEAP CLOCK (that you can color on the inside) 
MARKERS OR CRAYONS
WATER COLOR PAINT (if you are unable to find a clock that opens you can try painting the outside plastic with a water color and you will be able to see through it.

PROCESS:
Determine the child's schedule and routine
Pick a color per activity
Color that time frame on the clock with the matching color
and explain that when a particular hand is in that color it is time to do that activity.

EXAMPLES OF ACTIVITIES
Bath
Dinner, Breakfast, Lunch, Snack 1, and Snack 2
Play/Game Time
Homework
Family Time
Sleep
Wake Up 
Brush teeth
Chores

HAVE A HAPPY DAY
AYLA

About Me Book (Simple)

Here is an example of an about me book i create with kids. It allows them the chance to begin identifying what makes them unique. It helps to create a sense of identity. Depending on the particular client and situation I will either give them a blank book and allow the child free range OR i write the prompts in the book (my middle name is, i like to, i do not like to...etc) for them because i am seeking specific information.

MATERIALS NEEDED:
  • Colored Paper (card-stock preferred for sturdiness but not necessary)
  • White printer paper
  • Crayons, markers, paint, color pencils etc
Extra items may include: oil pastels, stickers, glitter, puff paint, photos, etc. 


EXAMPLES OF PROMPTS ARE: ( but not limited to...:)
MY MIDDLE NAME IS...
MY FRIENDS...
MY FAMILY...
MY SCHOOL...
I LIKE TO...
I DO NOT LIKE TO...
I AM GOOD AT...
I CAN IMPROVE...
ONE DAY I WILL...
MY COPING SKILLS ARE...
MY FEARS ARE...
IN SCHOOL I...
MY DREAM IS TO...
IF I HAD ONE WISH...
IF I WERE AN ANIMAL...
MY FAVORITE COLOR IS....

These examples are probing, open-ended questions that can help you to obtain some pertinent information about the child.
Have a happy day
Ayla

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Positive Me Puzzle

Here is an example of a self esteem activity to help a client or child identify positive qualities that make him or her who they are. For best effect, have the person cut out the puzzle pieces, mix them up, write a positive quality on each, and put them back together.

The lesson for this activity is to identify that we all have various qualities that make up who we are.

If the child or person struggles to identify positive qualities ask them to identify good qualities that make a good friend or family member. Then ask them to identify whether they exhibit any of those qualities.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Conversation Starters -Social Skills

              ~~ !!!!! SCHOOL'S BACK !!!!!~~


70 CONVERSATION STARTERs
Ever felt nervous when you first met someone, because you didn’t quite know what to say?  Here is a list of questions to get a good conversation started with a potential new friend. (Kids and teens may wish to practice on their family, friends, pets, counselors, social workers, or therapist, etc.)
    BE PREPARED to have to answer the questions yourself.
If you wish to be creative print out this list, cute each line into strips, ball them up and place them in a bag or box so that you will not know what question  is coming next
1.    Did you have a nickname? How did you get it?
2.  Do you do when you feel anxious? (I.e. nail biting, hair twirling, leg shaking, pacing, etc.)
3.  Do you have a hobby? What do you do in your free time?
4.  For you, what was the worst thing about being a (insert grade or year in school)?
5.  Have you ever committed a RAK? Random Act of Kindness? Explain…
6.  How often do you check your media outlets vine? Instagram? Pinterest? Kick? E-mail? Facebook? Texts?
7.  How would you describe your “style”?
8.  If one of your 5 senses could have supernatural abilities, which one sense would you choose?
9.  If you could be one age for the rest of your life, how old would you choose to be?
10.       If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be?
11.  If you could choose anyone name 2 people you would take on a road trip.
12.        If you could cure one type of disease, which one would you cure?
13.If you could design the perfect TV channel, what would be on it?
14.        If you could guest star on any Reality TV Show, which one would you choose?
15.        If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what animal would you choose?
16.        If you could have any one super-power, which one would you choose and why?
17.  If you could invent a holiday, what and when would it be?
18.        If you could plan your own birthday part, what would you do?
19.        If you had $10 to spend, how would you spend it? $100? $1000?
20.     If you had a theme song (one that played every time you entered a room), which song would 
    you choose?
21.        If you had a YouTube channel what would you call it?
22.      If you had an unlimited gift card to any store, which store would it be?
23.      If you were stuck on Stranded Island, what are 2 things you would bring with you?
24.      Name 3 tv shows you have recorded on your DVR? Netflix? HULU?
25.      So far who has had the most positive influence on you?
26.     What are 3 qualities you want your friends to have?
27.      What are some positive changes you have seen in your life?
28.      What cartoon character do you most identify with?
29.      What do you plan to do when you graduate?
30.     What do you struggle with the most in life?
31.   What helps you to feel most content or peaceful?
32.      What is one gadget or electronic you’d like to own?
33.      What is one of the most adventurous things you’ve ever done?
34.      What is one regret you have from last week? Last Month? Last year? Your lifetime?
35.      What is one statement that you hope people will say about you when you are no longer    
     around?
36.      What is one thing you wish you had more time for in your life?
37.      What is one thing you’ve never done that you would really like to do?
38.      What is some place that you would really like to visit?
39.      What is something you are looking forward to doing within the next six months?
40.     What is something you like about yourself?
41.        What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?
42.      What is the most important thing that makes a friendship great?
43.      What is the most recent book you read?
44.      What is the scariest thing you’ve ever seen in real life?
45.      What is your earliest memory?
46.     What is your favorite animal?
47.      What is your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite topping?
48.      What is your favorite thing to do with friends?
49.      What is your goal in life? Or goals?
50.     What is your least favorite chore to do?
51.         What is your most favorite possessions?
52.      What makes you feel discouraged or insecure?
53.      What one thing would you change about your house if you could?
54.      What songs are on your recently played playlist right now?
55.      What was the worst thing about being in middle school for you?
56.     What would you like for your life to be like 5 years from now? 10 years from now? 50years?
57.      What’s one thing that annoys you about your siblings or cousins?
58.      What’s one thing you like about your Mom?
59.      What’s one trait you admire about your Dad?
60.     What’s the biggest struggle you are facing in life right now?
61.        What’s the furthest place you’ve ever been from your current home?
62.     What’s the most annoying word or phrase your parents or teachers use often?
63.      What’s your dream car?
64.     When is something you must get from the grocery store, no matter what?
65.     When you are surprised with 30 free minutes during the day, how do you spend it?
66.     Where state and city were you born in?
67.      Who do you wish would listen more closely to you?
68.     Who is the most important person in your life?
69.     Who’s someone you admire/respect? Why? (not a family member)
70.     Your first job will be…?