Showing posts with label emotional intelligence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional intelligence. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Super New Year, Super New You!

Super New Year
Super New You
 Happy New Year!
This time of year many choose to make resolutions to change something about themselves or their lives that they are not satisfied with. A new year…a fresh new start…perfect timing right? Yet, think about how many of your resolutions you remember following through with in the past.

Every hero has their weaknesses.  For those of us in the school system- or  who work with children and teens- it may be a negative mindset, impatience, rigidness, unrealistic expectations, personal problems, or even compassion fatigue.  We as educators have the responsibility of serving as models on how our students can become the best version of themselves.  Take a moment to think about how each of these weaknesses can stand in the way of you being the best version of YOU personally and professionally.

Some super hero qualifications are (but are not limited to):                                                 
Strength-avoid power struggles. Instead show strength by handling negative situations like a Hero! In the face of danger what would Wonder Woman do? Back down? Complain? Play the Victim? Blame others? She would rise to the occasion and demonstrate her ability to rise above whatever obstacle is placed before her.

X-Ray Vision- See through your enemy.  In the academic setting, we have 2 major enemies: Behaviors and Cognitive Capabilities.  Do your best to see past the student, past their behavior, and discover what lies beneath.  Is it frustration? Boredom? Trauma? Family/Home Life? Is it a legitimate inability to learn in a particular way or setting? Now, problem solve to determine a solution.  If you cannot do so alone, consult with your team. That is why we are here!

Secret Elixir- Refrain from using your poison; otherwise known as negative thoughts, beliefs, language, and messages. Student will become who you expect them to become.  Your secret elixir is your own special concoction of positive messages, energy, and experiences you can feed to your students.

Confidence- If you are not confident in your ability to educate effectively, how can your learners feel confident in their own ability to learn and become successful?  The two go hand in hand. Having confidence means having the ability to handle adversity with poise. 

Empathy- Understanding. Responsiveness. The ability to meet students, clients, co-workers, friends and family where they are at as well as being able to understand that we all have our “stuff” and that “stuff” affects each of us in various ways.  It is up to us as the professionals to identify ways in which we can bring out the best in those we serve.

Generosity- Watching others get into the holiday spirit -giving and being selfless- reminds me of when the Grinch’s Heart grew “3 sizes that day.” In real life- your heart growing 3 sizes is probably something to consult your doctor about but your capacity for doing things for others is endless. Many people seem to think their legacy lives on through the things they have accomplished, achieved, gained, etc. I beg to differ. Your legacy lives on through the lives of those you have come in contact with and influenced in some way. Do you want to leave a legacy of students and coworkers who have gone on to be successful because you were able to inspire them in some way? Being generous does not necessarily mean to give material things. Your form of generosity can simply mean giving it your all when it comes to educating.  Challenge yourself to GIVE a little more encouragement, a little more laughter, a little more inspiration, and a little more compassion.

Creativity- What new ways can you discover to do what you do best? Do a little research. Ask others.  Or even ask your students what would make their academic experience more exciting, fun, interesting or at the very least…bearable!

Light-Heartedness- Learn to laugh. Learn to let go.  Learn to look at the bigger picture. How serious was it really?

Humbleness- Having insight to admit when you do not know something or that you are wrong as well as having the ability to give credit where credit is due, will do a lot for your mental stability. Pride creates a false sense of responsibility to prove yourself and a sense of self-worth that is dependent upon your ability to be the best or to avoid failure. Free yourself of that burden and learn to work as a member of a team whose players all have various skills, strengths, and areas of growth to attribute to the common goal; THE STUDENTS.

Dedication- Above all, dedication to your craft and profession will mean you will do everything in your power to be the best version of you who helps create the best version of them!
So…
What’s your Super Power?

xoxo
Ayla V. Expose

Saturday, May 7, 2016

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: How to effectively encourage positive behaviors


POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

Learning how to provide positive reinforcement for your child can help to create a more positive and ideal BEHAVIORS. Teaching your children that there are consequences for every action teaches them how to think and problem solve for themselves when they are out in the world.
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·         POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT- Simply means encouraging good behaviors

·         CONSEQUENCES- are the result of a behavior. (whether it was a positive or negative behavior)

·         BEHAVIORS- a person’s actions.  (What he or she does or says)

Think about these POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES (or incentives):
Work = Paycheck    
Sleep = Energy   
Medicine = Feeling Better  
Asking for Help = Receiving Help

Examples of POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT can be:


  • High 5
  • Encouragement
  • Praise
  • Hug
  • Thumbs Up
  • Clapping
  • Cheering
  • Privileges
  • Rewards

(Privileges may include extra TV or electronics time, later bedtime, choosing what to eat for dinner, etc.)



*POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT may be the most effective
when provided immediately after a desired BEHAVIOR. *


Examples of BEHAVIORS to Reinforce Positively:

Using manners
Playing Quietly
Asking Permission
Chores
Playing nicely with others
Helping Others
Making an Effort or Trying
Following Directions Immediately



POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT can also be used when a child has not done something correctly. Giving the child praise for what they have done right is more encouraging than putting them down for “failure.”

Example: “I am proud of you for asking permission to eat candy.  Next time can you wait for mommy to finish speaking?”

Example: “I noticed that you picked up some of your toys in your room. I am proud of you for doing your chores.  I see another toy on the floor. Can we put that one with the others?”


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Sense of Peace: 5 Senses Relaxation Activity

I will post a finished product on here before June 1st.
This activity can be used to discuss how to engage the senses when using relaxation techniques.

5 SENSES
SIGHT    TOUCH    SMELL    TASTE   SOUND 


Body Cues: ANGER

Use this activity to determine Body Cues in the child.  
Once the child has identified how their body feels when they are experiencing anger they can then begin to learn to start using their coping skills before it is too late.  

I typically allow my clients to list everything they can think of first. I sometimes then will present video clips of others being angry to help them determine what they may feel inside, and if the client is still unable to come up with body cues I provide examples and ask if they have felt that particular sensation before.

HAVE A HAPPY DAY
AYLA

Square Breathing

This Coping activity is quite simple.  
The child follows along outside edges of the square with their finger; Forcing them to focus on the length of their breaths.  They count to 4 per each side. 

On this particular handout I placed markers for where their finger should be per each count.

This technique can be used anywhere anytime.  When the child is experiencing an unpleasant emotion he or she can do this on their desk, leg, on the floor with their feet, etc. 

PEACEFUL BREATHING
AYLA

What Pushes Your Buttons? Trigger identification

WHAT PUSHES MY BUTTON ACTIVITY SHEET
(The actual activity sheet will be posted to my Teachers Pay Teachers Site for sale by June 1st)


This activity can be used to help the child or participant determine their triggers. 
             I often will have a child do this activity using 1 worksheet per emotion.                   They, then, are able to have a booklet to refer back to. 

Of course allowing the participant to put their own flare into this activity enhances a sense of self,uniqueness, and can make the process more entertaining. 
Allowing he or she to use crayons, markers, etc to fill in the blanks is a great way to encourage CREATIVITY!

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!
AYLA

Thursday, July 9, 2015

SELF ESTEEM VIDEO COMPILATION FOR YOUNG GIRLS AND TEENS

HI!

I Decided to put together a collection of positive self esteem videos that can be used to introduce, discuss, and practice raising self esteem.  For now, This post is mainly for girls, however it can be used for anyone with a little discussion.  (Boys, no worries, you'll be next!)

Here are a good bunch of videos to start a good discussion.  Allow the child or teen to reflect on what they saw in each video, what message they took away, how it relates to their life...etc.

**DISCLAIMER** Please preview any video you wish to present to a child beforehand to ensure that the content is appropriate.  Be prepared to address any questions, comments, or concerns that may be triggered.

Enjoy!


                                       Always #likeagirl campaign (superbowl)

 
 
Always #likeagirl campaign (2015)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Disney's #iamaprincess campaign.
(Their way of changing the way we THINK about what it means to be a Princess.)
 
 
 
 
 
Amazing speech about self esteem from a young girl
 
 
 
 
Live It Up,
Ayla
P.S. As I come across more I will add them.  Feel free to share this page or comment/email me with any good videos you all come across!

HEART PUZZLE

HEART PUZZLE
I apologize for taking so long to provide info on how to administer this activity.  Hopefully my brilliant readers have found this self-explanatory, but even the best of minds need a little assistance at times...So here it is!!

HEART MAPS/PUZZLE/ WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO NAME IT...is a fun creative way for a person to identify and explore things they hold true to them.  It can be a representation on their inner most thoughts and feelings.  It can be completed in different ways.  You decide what prompts.  I choose different prompts for different clients depending on age, intelligence, maturity, the goal/objective we are working toward in that particular session, 

Okay, so this activity is quite simple.

1. First you draw a large heart.  I strongly suggest you, the adult, draw the heart outline otherwise you may go through 10 pieces of paper.  In my experience children tend to struggle with the concept of "LARGE".  Be sure the heart is large enough to fit writing.  The younger the child, the larger the writing may be. 

2. Next you draw squiggly lines throughout the heart to give the illusion of a PUZZLE. 

3.  Next you provide the prompt. Think about what you are working toward with the individual. And ask them to write down your list of prompts somewhere near the outside of the heart.  Basically they are making a “map key.”  I strongly suggest you give 3….maybe 4…prompts. You want the participant to be able to list more than one thing for each topic/prompt. (see photo)
Examples…
SELF ESTEEM= I AM GOOD AT/ I CAN WORK TOWARDS/ MY ACCOMPLISMENTS
FAMILY THERAPY= I LOVE/ I TRUST/ I CAN RELY ON/I WISH I KNEW BETTER
GETTING TO KNOW ME= I LIKE/I HATE/I AM GOOD AT/MY DREAMS/ MY FEARS

4. Now, ask them to assign a color to each.  In my example above I have things I do not like represented with the color red because in real life I cannot stand the color read.  Things I want are represented with green because it is my favorite color.  I decided to get creative after doing these over and over.  I made each prompt layered.  Feelings I enjoy are in light green and if I wish to experience them more I surrounded the light green with darker green.   You can choose to allow the person to be creative and do their own thing or be more directed and insist they choose 1 color per prompt.

5. Finally, process and discuss. You can also allow the participant to make a heart depicted what they wish their heart puzzle/map will look like once they have completed treatment. Or what they are hoping their heart will look one day if you are not using this for counseling/therapy.

SUMMARY
1.        LARGE HEART
2.      SQUIGGLY LINES
3.      LIST OF PROMPTS
4.      COLORS
5.       PROCESS/DISCUSS

Thanks for stopping by!!

AYLA 









MEET YOUR EMOTIONS: CREATIVE WAY TO USE THE EMOTIONS FROM DISNEY PIXAR'S "INSIDE OUT" AS AN INTERVENTION.

MEET YOUR EMOTIONS!!

 HI!

    How amazing would it be for us as professionals (and even parents) to be able to have relevant and age appropriate videos that teach about emotions to present to our children or clients??  Well our wishes have been granted! Disney's Pixar has a genius working amongst them who heard our prayers!!   So I have put together a list of the videos from "Inside Out" that allows us to meet each emotion.

What you will find.
  • The movie addresses our core emotions: FEAR, JOY, ANGER, SADNESS & DISGUST
  • Each video names the emotion and provides a snippet of that emotion exhibiting the body language, sounds, and verbal language that coincides with each emotion. 
  • Each video also provides a snippet of what the main character, Riley, is going through to trigger that emotion.

HOW TO USE:
     Show each video (one at a time) to your client/child.  Ask them what they remember from each clip. Then ask them to describe a time they felt that emotion.  BONUS: Have the child/client draw or paint the time they felt that emotion.  For negative emotions you may wish to have them draw a coping skill to help them manage that emotion.  Or have them role play how they would use their coping skills to manage those emotions.

Enjoy!


   LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO FEAR

                                              
 
 
 LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO JOY!

 
 
 
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO ANGER


 
 
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO SADNESS

 
 
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO DISGUST

 
 
 
Live it up,
Ayla
p.s.  **Disclaimer** I do not own the rights to this movie or each clip.  These clips were obtained from www.youtube.com.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CARDS

 Emotional Intelligence Cards.  
I got this idea from something I saw on pinterest and tweaked it a bit to fit with my own therapeutic interventions.  They are very kid adn parent friendly and need little explanation.  They are easy to make and customizable.
 
4 BASIC  FEELINGS CARDS  help kids identify basic emotions.  Each basic emotion can be experienced a varying degrees of intensity.  (Example: Happy= Excited, glad,or content.  Mad= Furious, Grouchy, Upset.)  The ability to identify other emotions besides your basic emotions helps children to truly communicate what they are experiencing.  Communication is always key!!
The ANGER RULES card can be used as a rule of thumb for the child to be reminded of the proper way to behave when they become angry.  This card has postive statements to as remindeders to not engage in physical outburst or negative responses.
RESPECT card is simple.  It provides a lis of respectful behaviors.  This card can be used as a positve alternative to the behaviors listed on the anger card as well as a general rule of thumb. SHOW RESPECT TO EVERYONE :)
ACTIVE LISTENING card  I always talk to my clients about listening with their Whole Body!   I got the idea from a cute Sesame Street video I found online.  It's rather cute honestly.  In the video cookie monster learns to listen with his whole body.   He must remind himself that  to listen with one's whole body means Eyes are Watching, Ears are Listening, Mouth is Quiet and Body is Still & Calm!

VOICE LEVEL card reminds children that if they wish to be heard and to communicate their wants and needs they must attempt to remain as calm as can be.  The first step is to be mindful of their tone.  If a child is speaking calmly they can be heard, which is their ultimate goal!  However, if they scream or cry uncontrollably they will not be understood, therefore, their needs cannot be met.


These can be used at home and in any therapeutic environment.  They are fun to look at and can travel easily for quick reminders in social settings.  I will be adding more to the deck soon.  But for now this is a good start.
     Love It Up!
Ayla V. Expose, LMSW